Late minds!

SO!! It is 1:36am and I am NO LONGER TIRED! I fell asleep while watching Batman with Tristan and my housemate (in a stupidly uncomfortable position that I think has left me permanently disfigured) and now I am wide awake. So I figured I would Blog as once again I have lied to you all in the regular-ness of my blogging.

So I have been quite busy over the last month since I spoke to you. As you know I've had Cinderella and Hairspray rehearsals as well as work. So much public transport time it's ridiculous. I wish my iPad were not smashed as it would REALLY come in handy on my many hours a week spent on trains and trams

Anyways! Some more exciting theatre news for me recently. I applied a while ago for the "Assistant Musical Director" gig for Bare with PEP theatre company. AND I GOT IT!!! Even more exciting is I am working with 3 very good friends and amazingly talented women! I am also working with a fellow I don't really know well at all so I am sure he is just as amazing and talented! This won't be starting up until my other two shows are close to finishing which is good. I won't be to over run.
I am a bit nervous though as my primary job as AMD is playing piano for rehearsals. While I know the score for the show quite well and I feel I am capable of playing it I am always nervous when my piano playing is a job rather than just playing for fun and sing-a-long's. I also have some friends who are always correcting me when I play or telling me how it goes or meant to sound. It really shits me because even though I know they are not doing it in a spiteful or mean manner. I don't think they realize just how paranoid and sensitive I am about my skill level on the piano. ALSO some always correct me even when I have played EXACTLY what is written. They DON'T read music and all they are going from is what they have heard on the cast recording... I am playing ONE PART! Of many, the piano doesn't play EVERY note in the show and there are many shows that actually have multiple piano books so even if you hear a piano playing a certain part, that does not mean that THAT is the music I have in front of me.

On a random note though... I saw the movie adaptation of "Les Miserables" today. While I did absolutely LOVE it... It did not live up to expectations.

(WARNING POTENTIAL SPOILERS)

Hugh, whilst he could sing the parts really well I felt a lot of his singing lacked power and emotion. His acting was good and facial expressions were where they needed to be to portray how he was feeling it just wasn't in his voice. Russel was surprisingly good... However I was not expecting ANYTHING from him. The young girl who played "Young Cosette" was great!! As was the chap who played "Gaveroche" I cried when he got shot! Eponine was great! Loved her and Cosette was amazing! Did NOT know she had that voice! Marious was good but I felt he was a bit to "pop" at times and Aaron was brilliant! BUT! The "Show Stopping" performance goes to Anne as Fantine!! My god! I love her anyway and would go see a movie just because she is in it, but I really feel that she has gone above and beyond anything she has and WILL ever do! Words can not describe!!! I could go into more detail however I would be here for hours typing... so I won't.

Now I've run out of things to say... I've been all over the shop at the moment. I am just not coping with anything lately. I'll be good for a while but then out of the blue and for no reason I am fuming with anger or just over everything and want to curl up and have the world forget about me. I am well aware that this is EXACTLY what Bipolar is and does but I have just found the peaks and troughs so much more evident recently and I am loosing the ability to recognize them and talk myself out of them. Recently I just loose control of my thoughts. To the extent that I don't remember periods of time or conversations and such. Really quite petrifying BUT I don't know what to do. I really don't feel like going to my GP will help as I genuinely feel like he will dismiss it... Tell me what he thinks I want to hear and up my lithium (which I may add I don't think is helping. I take it when I'm meant to bar the odd time I forget). I am lost!! I want to go get professional help but don't know where to look or anything... BAH!!!

Well that certainly got deep and serious quite quickly :-/ sorry about that!

ANYWAYS!!! I will sign off now I guess. Don't really know what else to chat about.

Merry Christmas everyone!! Have a happy and above all SAFE holiday season! Please be safe and sensible!

I will be in Gippsland for the Christmas season with family which I am looking forward to. I will most likely blog within the next week as over the Chrissy and new year break many exciting things will happen!! (I hope)

ALSO!!! Today (well... Yesterday the 22nd of December) marks the 4 year anniversary of a very close friend and mentor of mine passing away. I would just like to say that I still miss you David! You were such an inspiration to myself and many others around. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for investing so much time in me and helping me become the person I am today!!

I would also like to point out (if I haven't already) that the quote/phrase that I have at the end of my blogs was one that Picky (David) had at the end of every email or letter that he sent out. Although on my phone I haven't got the pic to post I shall STILL use it as my "sign off"!!

"In a world of peace and love, Music would be the universal language"